Okay so for those of you who didn't know me in High School I wasn't sweet and innocent. I wasn't quite as wild as this song, but it's close enough!!
I think more of us are like this than we'd like to admit LOL!! Enjoy!
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Monday, March 15, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Marriage, Heaven or Hell?
Today is the anniversary of the first time my husband and I... well hooked up. LOL We were together for a month before we actually went on a date. The first date was Camelot the cartoon. Still one of my favorite cartoon movies! LOL.
So after eleven and a half (we got married four months after our first "hook up") years of marriage and twelve years of being together... minus the two times my wonderful man broke up with me because it was getting "to serious". I have to digress for a minute on this one. I was 19 when we met. I had just broken up with a guy who I believed was the love of my life and whom I had been "with" for two and a half years. Said guy and I had lived together right out of high school and the break was a painful and drawn out one! I told my future husband that I wasn't interested in a "serious relationship" and I really didn't think I was. I had dated a few guys before my future DH and after my ex love. I tried party lines (that was the way to do it before the internet dating took off, it was 1998) I wanted a boyfriend, I wanted to have sex, I wanted to enjoy being young with someone. I had a best friend who at the time I might as well have been dating. She was so fun and we'd go out every Friday night to a movie and dinner, we spent most of the weekend shopping, talking or just hanging out, she loved my cats, she got my jokes, we liked the same tv shows, we could drink not have to worry about anyone taking advantage, I cooked, she cleaned (we were roommates). It was a beautiful relationship... unfortunately I LOVE men and only men! Sometimes I wish I was gay, but then again women are too jealous and I like being the Queen of my home LOL!!
Okay back to my decade plus long marriage ..
We started dating after a night out with my perfect mate (roommate) and my future DH. I was trying to hook the two of them up because I had dated my Dh's best friend (who I had known ALL my life, I wasn't "that" kind of girl who gets passed around).
ANYWAY... Sorry, FDH (Future dear husband for future reference) and I started talking and didn't stop. We talked for hours and basically ignored my friend. I felt bad but we hit it off.
FDH and I left my poor friend outside for a half an hour smoking. We said we'd be right out and we just kept talking. We lost track of time. I was smitten. He was everything I wanted, employed, not a drug addict, very interesting to talk to (a HUGE thing for me), he was attractive, had a nice truck, he understood where I was coming from with all my crazy family stuff, he was funny, he had a fantastic smile and he seemed to be into me!
So I will skip ahead a little it was a crazy four months. Either we were inseparable or he wouldn't call. We would spend two days locked in the bedroom or he wouldn't call for a week. It was weird. He broke up with me twice as I said, once on the phone and once on my answering machine while I was at work... that one pissed me off. After the answering machine incident, I was ready to walk for good this time. I did obsess about why he didn't like me, what had I done, etc.... but I didn't call or show up at his house. My boss at the time and my grandma both told me "If he really loves you he'll be back, if not on to the next one" So I took their advise and didn't pull any crazy exgirlfriend BS. I just let him go...
He came back a week later.
Fast forward to early July, we were looking at condos for fun and we thought we might want to buy one. Yes were were young, but we both made good money and why the hell not? The lender said it looked better if we were married... (okay here I must stress one month before this was my 20th birthday, FDH gave me an emerald ring I wore on my left hand. I went to a family function with it on and he stressed that everyone though we were engaged. That made him very uncomfortable.) So after we got home to our apartment, FDH looked at me and said "let's do it". I was shocked and excited, mostly shocked. LOL. I accepted
We waited a week. We ran off to Vegas in the middle of the night. I need to insert here, we had already bought all new furniture and a new computer together. We were in it deep. Lol. So after the furniture was delivered we stopped at the mall, bought two silver rings (we were broke after all that spending LOL) and off we went.
We got married just after midnight, at a tiny little chapel that had a Scottish name that I loved being part Scottish (I found out later my Grandma was married there too. So cool since my Grandma and I are very very close!). We couldn't afford to stay in Vegas, so we stayed at a border town between Vegas and Los Angeles and had a four hour honeymoon. Our wedding dinner a prime rib at 2:00 a.m. in the hotel buffet/restaurant LOL.
We went to work the following day like nothing happened. We didn't tell our families (except my grandma) for a month and that went over like a load of bricks LOL. FDH or rather now DH was only two years older than I was. We were babies. I know.
The first year was tough, for so many reasons. We barely knew each other and then a bunch of things happened. DH had a back injury, family came to stay with us, two of our grandparents died, we had cats die (that was horrible for me, they were my babies), my best friend and I got into a huge fight and she moved out, that broke my heart. You get the idea... broke, young, and figuring out the whole life, marriage thing!
Fast forward twelve years... three kids, three dogs, a mortgage, two car payments, debt (thanks to the fabulous economy) and not a lot of work for the last month... Needless to say we have a lot of stress.
However I am a perpetual optimist. I do get bitchy and I do have bad days. Most of the time though I am VERY grateful for this crazy life.
So I ask myself on this anniversary, would I have been happier waiting to get married, if I had not taken my DH back? My life would have ended up very different had I walked away. I may have found a ridiculously rich man and married him, I may have dated for years before settling down, I may have gone back to my ex, I may have not gotten married, I may have died like my best friend did the next year...
No I don't regret getting married at 20 and having my first child at 23. I don't regret the craziness that my life has become with three kids. I don't always love that my DH is as stubborn as I am and we fight over stupid crap I don't always love the noise and yelling that comes with three kids. I don't love the stress of trying to juggle the bills and still have money to eat.
However... Before this crazy economy crash, we weren't rich but we were doing well. We had fun, did things, and didn't stress about money nearly as much.
My kids are seriously cool people when they are not trying to kill each other and drive me crazy LOL. They are smart, funny, loving and have pretty good manors. They are great at school and when the are at their friends homes (that is a HUGE one for me). My biggest fear before kids was not being able to have kids and now I have three, I've been pregnant five times and had to have my tubes tied because we are ridiculously fertile!
My DH is funny, smart, handsome, hardworking, intelligent, aging well, always evolving and my best friend.
So the bottom line. I will take the bad with the good every time. He may annoy the crap out of me at times, but I wouldn't trade him (or them, as my oldest SCREAMS at her brother) for anything in the world. I've found my own version of Heaven as fractured as it may be!!
Blessed Be.
Thanks for reading!
So after eleven and a half (we got married four months after our first "hook up") years of marriage and twelve years of being together... minus the two times my wonderful man broke up with me because it was getting "to serious". I have to digress for a minute on this one. I was 19 when we met. I had just broken up with a guy who I believed was the love of my life and whom I had been "with" for two and a half years. Said guy and I had lived together right out of high school and the break was a painful and drawn out one! I told my future husband that I wasn't interested in a "serious relationship" and I really didn't think I was. I had dated a few guys before my future DH and after my ex love. I tried party lines (that was the way to do it before the internet dating took off, it was 1998) I wanted a boyfriend, I wanted to have sex, I wanted to enjoy being young with someone. I had a best friend who at the time I might as well have been dating. She was so fun and we'd go out every Friday night to a movie and dinner, we spent most of the weekend shopping, talking or just hanging out, she loved my cats, she got my jokes, we liked the same tv shows, we could drink not have to worry about anyone taking advantage, I cooked, she cleaned (we were roommates). It was a beautiful relationship... unfortunately I LOVE men and only men! Sometimes I wish I was gay, but then again women are too jealous and I like being the Queen of my home LOL!!
Okay back to my decade plus long marriage ..
We started dating after a night out with my perfect mate (roommate) and my future DH. I was trying to hook the two of them up because I had dated my Dh's best friend (who I had known ALL my life, I wasn't "that" kind of girl who gets passed around).
ANYWAY... Sorry, FDH (Future dear husband for future reference) and I started talking and didn't stop. We talked for hours and basically ignored my friend. I felt bad but we hit it off.
FDH and I left my poor friend outside for a half an hour smoking. We said we'd be right out and we just kept talking. We lost track of time. I was smitten. He was everything I wanted, employed, not a drug addict, very interesting to talk to (a HUGE thing for me), he was attractive, had a nice truck, he understood where I was coming from with all my crazy family stuff, he was funny, he had a fantastic smile and he seemed to be into me!
So I will skip ahead a little it was a crazy four months. Either we were inseparable or he wouldn't call. We would spend two days locked in the bedroom or he wouldn't call for a week. It was weird. He broke up with me twice as I said, once on the phone and once on my answering machine while I was at work... that one pissed me off. After the answering machine incident, I was ready to walk for good this time. I did obsess about why he didn't like me, what had I done, etc.... but I didn't call or show up at his house. My boss at the time and my grandma both told me "If he really loves you he'll be back, if not on to the next one" So I took their advise and didn't pull any crazy exgirlfriend BS. I just let him go...
He came back a week later.
Fast forward to early July, we were looking at condos for fun and we thought we might want to buy one. Yes were were young, but we both made good money and why the hell not? The lender said it looked better if we were married... (okay here I must stress one month before this was my 20th birthday, FDH gave me an emerald ring I wore on my left hand. I went to a family function with it on and he stressed that everyone though we were engaged. That made him very uncomfortable.) So after we got home to our apartment, FDH looked at me and said "let's do it". I was shocked and excited, mostly shocked. LOL. I accepted
We waited a week. We ran off to Vegas in the middle of the night. I need to insert here, we had already bought all new furniture and a new computer together. We were in it deep. Lol. So after the furniture was delivered we stopped at the mall, bought two silver rings (we were broke after all that spending LOL) and off we went.
We got married just after midnight, at a tiny little chapel that had a Scottish name that I loved being part Scottish (I found out later my Grandma was married there too. So cool since my Grandma and I are very very close!). We couldn't afford to stay in Vegas, so we stayed at a border town between Vegas and Los Angeles and had a four hour honeymoon. Our wedding dinner a prime rib at 2:00 a.m. in the hotel buffet/restaurant LOL.
We went to work the following day like nothing happened. We didn't tell our families (except my grandma) for a month and that went over like a load of bricks LOL. FDH or rather now DH was only two years older than I was. We were babies. I know.
The first year was tough, for so many reasons. We barely knew each other and then a bunch of things happened. DH had a back injury, family came to stay with us, two of our grandparents died, we had cats die (that was horrible for me, they were my babies), my best friend and I got into a huge fight and she moved out, that broke my heart. You get the idea... broke, young, and figuring out the whole life, marriage thing!
Fast forward twelve years... three kids, three dogs, a mortgage, two car payments, debt (thanks to the fabulous economy) and not a lot of work for the last month... Needless to say we have a lot of stress.
However I am a perpetual optimist. I do get bitchy and I do have bad days. Most of the time though I am VERY grateful for this crazy life.
So I ask myself on this anniversary, would I have been happier waiting to get married, if I had not taken my DH back? My life would have ended up very different had I walked away. I may have found a ridiculously rich man and married him, I may have dated for years before settling down, I may have gone back to my ex, I may have not gotten married, I may have died like my best friend did the next year...
No I don't regret getting married at 20 and having my first child at 23. I don't regret the craziness that my life has become with three kids. I don't always love that my DH is as stubborn as I am and we fight over stupid crap I don't always love the noise and yelling that comes with three kids. I don't love the stress of trying to juggle the bills and still have money to eat.
However... Before this crazy economy crash, we weren't rich but we were doing well. We had fun, did things, and didn't stress about money nearly as much.
My kids are seriously cool people when they are not trying to kill each other and drive me crazy LOL. They are smart, funny, loving and have pretty good manors. They are great at school and when the are at their friends homes (that is a HUGE one for me). My biggest fear before kids was not being able to have kids and now I have three, I've been pregnant five times and had to have my tubes tied because we are ridiculously fertile!
My DH is funny, smart, handsome, hardworking, intelligent, aging well, always evolving and my best friend.
So the bottom line. I will take the bad with the good every time. He may annoy the crap out of me at times, but I wouldn't trade him (or them, as my oldest SCREAMS at her brother) for anything in the world. I've found my own version of Heaven as fractured as it may be!!
Blessed Be.
Thanks for reading!
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