Yesterday I coined "Parenthood Trauma" to explain how I was feeling about being Mom. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, they are good kids, but WOW are they annoying!
(Whining has got to be the single most annoying, earsplitting noise on the planet. That could just be me, but I really doubt it. My nine year old whines, my three year old whines, surprisingly, my seven year old "drama queen" whines the least, she screeches! LOL.)
Parenthood Trauma is the opposite of childhood trauma. The kids are fine and think they are doing everything right! It's the parents who are being abused, neglected, tortured (with whining and screeching), etc... I am not making light of real childhood trauma, God knows, I've had enough of my own. I am just thinking, why do kids get to claim we damaged their lives, when they make ours soooo difficult sometimes?! That doesn't seem fair.
So in a fun and (mostly) joking way, I am making fun of the kids and ourselves! Life is too short to take it seriously all the time!! Laugh at ourselves and especially our children LOL!! Claim "Parenthood Trauma" go on strike for a night and let the kids deal on their own!
Have a happy, creative and inspired day!
AmyLove
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust
We all need a coping strategy to deal with the stresses that come up in life. My stress now is money, as it is for most of us. It is getting better, I see it, I feel it, I know it.
I used to be pretty high strung when it came to certain things. I still have a high sense of urgency (according to the DISC assesment I took). To me a high sense of urgency comes from bring a wife and mother. I run the house, pay the bills, teach the kids, for a while I was very busy with my own business too.
It can be very overwhelming trying to get it all done. I read once men live longer happier lives if they were married. LOL Well that is a no brainer to me! I adore my husband, he is a really great guy, but sometimes I feel like I do more for the kids, him, etc...
We are naturally amped to try to make life for those around us comfortable, happy and nice. When we add bills, doctors visits, birthday parties, oil changes, laundry, dishes and meals just for starters it is no wonder we are frazzled. Add in stress about loss of income or mounting bills and it is a perfect storm for a break down.
I was on the verge of a break down last week. I am pretty tough. I bitch some times, but I power through hard times. I yell, but I don't cry often. I am loving and kind, but I don't take BS either. So last week was a real doozy! It almost had me begging for mercy and then it all got so much better.
Here are a few of my tips and tricks. It is work and it isn't a cure all, but I went from a worn out stress case last week, to having a really great day today and I know more are on the way!
1. Get rid of junk. Junk is stressful. I know you may need some of it in the future or you think you will, but be honest, will you be able to find it? Is your sanity worth the $5, $10 or $15 it would cost to replace it if you did need it? My seven year old shocked the hell out of me yesterday. She donated ALL of her Polly Pockets, half her barbies and random other stuff Garbage bags full. She only kept her favorite toys, her American Girl dolls, her Petshops, her favorite stuffed toys, her Faery collection and her books. She doesn't even miss them and she earned money to buy paint to redo her room.
Once we see past the junk to what we could do, it makes the donating or letting go easier!
WHEN YOU CLEAR SPACE, YOU HAVE MORE TIME TO LIVE!!! YOU SPEND LESS TIME SHUFFLING AND CLEANING YOU STUFF! =
Happiness!!
2. Focus on the good and more good will come. Be grateful and repeat to yourself what you are grateful for.
3. What gets me through stressful days? Three words..."Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust! Just let it go and have Faith, Trust it will all work out and believe in magic!
4. Be kind to yourself, physically and mentally. You are your own worst enemy or best friend.
I hope you find this helpful.
Have a beautiful, creative and inspired day!
Amy
I used to be pretty high strung when it came to certain things. I still have a high sense of urgency (according to the DISC assesment I took). To me a high sense of urgency comes from bring a wife and mother. I run the house, pay the bills, teach the kids, for a while I was very busy with my own business too.
It can be very overwhelming trying to get it all done. I read once men live longer happier lives if they were married. LOL Well that is a no brainer to me! I adore my husband, he is a really great guy, but sometimes I feel like I do more for the kids, him, etc...
We are naturally amped to try to make life for those around us comfortable, happy and nice. When we add bills, doctors visits, birthday parties, oil changes, laundry, dishes and meals just for starters it is no wonder we are frazzled. Add in stress about loss of income or mounting bills and it is a perfect storm for a break down.
I was on the verge of a break down last week. I am pretty tough. I bitch some times, but I power through hard times. I yell, but I don't cry often. I am loving and kind, but I don't take BS either. So last week was a real doozy! It almost had me begging for mercy and then it all got so much better.
Here are a few of my tips and tricks. It is work and it isn't a cure all, but I went from a worn out stress case last week, to having a really great day today and I know more are on the way!
1. Get rid of junk. Junk is stressful. I know you may need some of it in the future or you think you will, but be honest, will you be able to find it? Is your sanity worth the $5, $10 or $15 it would cost to replace it if you did need it? My seven year old shocked the hell out of me yesterday. She donated ALL of her Polly Pockets, half her barbies and random other stuff Garbage bags full. She only kept her favorite toys, her American Girl dolls, her Petshops, her favorite stuffed toys, her Faery collection and her books. She doesn't even miss them and she earned money to buy paint to redo her room.
Once we see past the junk to what we could do, it makes the donating or letting go easier!
WHEN YOU CLEAR SPACE, YOU HAVE MORE TIME TO LIVE!!! YOU SPEND LESS TIME SHUFFLING AND CLEANING YOU STUFF! =
Happiness!!
2. Focus on the good and more good will come. Be grateful and repeat to yourself what you are grateful for.
3. What gets me through stressful days? Three words..."Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust! Just let it go and have Faith, Trust it will all work out and believe in magic!
4. Be kind to yourself, physically and mentally. You are your own worst enemy or best friend.
I hope you find this helpful.
Have a beautiful, creative and inspired day!
Amy
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Perfection is another word for @$$hole!
Am I the only one who's tired of "rules" that make no sense... in fact they aren't really rules. More like society's pressures. Is it TV? Is it movies? Is it other Moms and women pretending to be perfect?
I admit it I used to try to convince everyone I was perfect. It was the first time I had ever stayed home. I had a two year old and a newborn. I joined a Moms group (which I later got kicked out of LOL! That is another story, just know I am a good person, but I don't take crap). I felt this over whelming pressure to have a perfect home, perfectly hair, perfectly dressed children (with girls their hair had to be perfect too). I had to pretend I had it all together. Well I suck at lying. I failed at it. I scrubbed the floor by hand, cleaned for hours every day, for a while. I couldn't keep it up. Don't get me wrong, I clean, I pick up, I do laundry (which I hate), but it's not perfect. My kids (I now have three, which sent me over the edge, but that is for another blog) have messy rooms! Gasp! I clean them with or for them every few months. I'm afraid bugs or mice will be lurking in there if I don't LOL!
My grandmother always tells me neat freaks are the most boring people ever! "No one wants to hear about how clean your house is." So true! Most of us are trying to live life, raise kids, pay bills, work, teach, sleep... LOL. Something has got to give. I get a certain kind of satisfaction that when I go somewhere and it's not spotless! I love that. Honestly! It means they are human too!! Our homes are here to serve us! We need a certain level of cleanliness to survive, but I can't eat off my floors, I have dogs, they do that!! LOL!! Three kids, three dogs and three bunnies (bunnies live in the classroom)... Yep I think my house is pretty damn clean considering. Not to mention I homeschool (again another blog).
Here is my bottom line. If we are friends, I DON'T CARE if your house is messy. I don't want to hang out with a hoarders nominee, but I don't care if your house isn't perfect! Enjoy your life, your family and your home. Don't let the pressure of having a perfect home steal your joy. Most people don't have a perfect home (I know this because my hubby works in peoples homes almost daily!)
Live the way YOU want, not the way you think you should!!
Have a beautiful, creative and inspired day!
I admit it I used to try to convince everyone I was perfect. It was the first time I had ever stayed home. I had a two year old and a newborn. I joined a Moms group (which I later got kicked out of LOL! That is another story, just know I am a good person, but I don't take crap). I felt this over whelming pressure to have a perfect home, perfectly hair, perfectly dressed children (with girls their hair had to be perfect too). I had to pretend I had it all together. Well I suck at lying. I failed at it. I scrubbed the floor by hand, cleaned for hours every day, for a while. I couldn't keep it up. Don't get me wrong, I clean, I pick up, I do laundry (which I hate), but it's not perfect. My kids (I now have three, which sent me over the edge, but that is for another blog) have messy rooms! Gasp! I clean them with or for them every few months. I'm afraid bugs or mice will be lurking in there if I don't LOL!
My grandmother always tells me neat freaks are the most boring people ever! "No one wants to hear about how clean your house is." So true! Most of us are trying to live life, raise kids, pay bills, work, teach, sleep... LOL. Something has got to give. I get a certain kind of satisfaction that when I go somewhere and it's not spotless! I love that. Honestly! It means they are human too!! Our homes are here to serve us! We need a certain level of cleanliness to survive, but I can't eat off my floors, I have dogs, they do that!! LOL!! Three kids, three dogs and three bunnies (bunnies live in the classroom)... Yep I think my house is pretty damn clean considering. Not to mention I homeschool (again another blog).
Here is my bottom line. If we are friends, I DON'T CARE if your house is messy. I don't want to hang out with a hoarders nominee, but I don't care if your house isn't perfect! Enjoy your life, your family and your home. Don't let the pressure of having a perfect home steal your joy. Most people don't have a perfect home (I know this because my hubby works in peoples homes almost daily!)
Live the way YOU want, not the way you think you should!!
Have a beautiful, creative and inspired day!
Monday, January 24, 2011
The world as I know it...
What do I know?
Such a laoded question. I know that what I do know, is nothing compared to what I don't know. I know that there must be a driving force in the universe and that when you embrace it (however that may be, I'm not judging, because lord knows, I'm not conventional) you find an inner peace. A peace that lets you know that even though it may be really hard right now, you'll make it through. That you can attain any dream if you work toward it every day. That life is prescious and it is not about what you have, but who you have in your life that count. That focusing on the good will bring more good and focusing on the bad will drive you mad! That children are the greatest gift and the truest test of your sanity! That real friends love you no matter what you have, what you look like or who you know. Real friends call you and say "want me to have his knees whacked?" LMAO (she's Italian). Real friends encourage you to do what you love, not tear you down. That good husbands are worth their weight in gold, even if I have to put up with goosing and a booby grab on his way by LOL! No matter how hard it gets we are in this together. And finally, let the past go. That doesn't mean forget, it means forgive and keep the good!
Life isn't perfect, but in my world it's damn good!!
Have a beautiful, creative and inspired day!!
Amy
Such a laoded question. I know that what I do know, is nothing compared to what I don't know. I know that there must be a driving force in the universe and that when you embrace it (however that may be, I'm not judging, because lord knows, I'm not conventional) you find an inner peace. A peace that lets you know that even though it may be really hard right now, you'll make it through. That you can attain any dream if you work toward it every day. That life is prescious and it is not about what you have, but who you have in your life that count. That focusing on the good will bring more good and focusing on the bad will drive you mad! That children are the greatest gift and the truest test of your sanity! That real friends love you no matter what you have, what you look like or who you know. Real friends call you and say "want me to have his knees whacked?" LMAO (she's Italian). Real friends encourage you to do what you love, not tear you down. That good husbands are worth their weight in gold, even if I have to put up with goosing and a booby grab on his way by LOL! No matter how hard it gets we are in this together. And finally, let the past go. That doesn't mean forget, it means forgive and keep the good!
Life isn't perfect, but in my world it's damn good!!
Have a beautiful, creative and inspired day!!
Amy
Thanks to my friend H.L.
Thanks to my friend H.L. I am going to blog again! I love it, but I got so busy I let it go. I am also the queen of starting and petering out after a while LOL!! So coming soon a new post!!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Are you kidding me??
So this "reader" who wrote in, is either completely stupid, or just a spoiled brat!! I am an only child and these thoughts would never cross my mind pre-kids... However, I had kids before most of my friends! I had my oldest at 23, which in the suburb I grew up in, is very young.
What I think the writer who was answering this letter left out (to be kind) is, that play dates are our way of connecting with friends. It gives us the much needed "adult" interaction that we all must have to stay sane!! When you have friends who don't have kids, you have less in common. Life changes so much that really I wonder "what the heck did we do before kids?". My husband and I were married for three and a half years before our oldest was born, we both worked full time and seemed to be busy... but really we just did what ever we wanted. She (the Mommy friend) probably doesn't have anything in common with a self centered brat, who compares her life to her mommy friends and writes in to newspapers bashing her!! That's just my thought on it... I could be wrong, but I doubt it LOL!
The thing that the writer forgot as well is, a lot of men work long hours and/or weekends (or are gone longer...) We have many days or weeks etc... that we are single moms, trying to get everything done for multiple children. Keeping them from killing each other and trashing the house is a full time job in itself, let alone feeding, playdates, library trips etc....
On another note....
I think that's the biggest change between being childless and Mom (or Dad)... Not doing what I want! I find myself feeling guilty for getting lost in something I love to do. To be honest though, I am so tired by the time we get the crazy munchkins to bed, that all I want to do is read or watch something! If I can get the kids to watch TV for a while so I can do something I want, I think I deserve it (but still feel guilty about it).
Days that we have play dates seems to go very quickly and are usually very pleasant, I don't get a lot done besides that though and spend the next day cleaning and dealing with whiny, bored kids (those are the LOOOOOOOOOOOONG days!)
Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. I would do anything for them, except lose myself. I still have my own interests and won't sacrifice me, because that wouldn't be good for anyone! A happy mommy means a happy family!! If you don't have children you don't understand how mind numbing it is to keep on your kids to clean their room, do their chores... Don't get me started on potty training, breast feeding and keeping up with the house!! We love our kids and our friends, but sometimes your single or childless friends can't understand and won't until they have kids of their own. Then they will feel more than a little stupid for ever accusing the rest of us of "relaxing and enjoying".
My two last thoughts....
Easiest part of being mom... Childbirth!
They are all adorable and sweet... when they are sleeping!
These are just my personal views. Take them or leave them, just don't judge until you've lived it yourself! We all have problems and stresses, they may not seem equal on paper but that doesn't mean they aren't equally intense!!
Have a beautiful creative and inspired day!! Thanks for reading!
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